Once Upon A Time...

Fate intertwined with a couple from two vastly different universes; setting them on a path neither expected, but both most welcomed with open arms.

This life-long adventure started in November of 2018 when Emily and Ryan decided to step up and assist when they found out that Ryan's struggling mother was taking care of his 2 nieces, Abby (7 y/o) and Vera (16 months old) on her own, and her hands were more then full.

For a little back story, Abby hadn't moved to Ohio until she was 5. Abby was born and had lived in Oregon with her mom (Ryan's sister), Aunt Kayla and grandma until they decided to move back home to Cincinnati to be closer to family.

Shortly after returned from Oregon, Abby got a little sister, Vera, in 2017.

Ryan and Emily have gone to incredible lengths to be a part of Abby's life since her birth, including Skype video calls, and recording their voices reading books to Abby as gifts to her. It's no different now she's physically in Ohio, and Ryan and Emily can take Abby to museums, events, parks, and just make memories with her. They spent time with baby Vera when they could.

While taking the girls on weekends and thru conversation with Ryan's mom and sister, we slowly unraveled the story of the situation. Then we found out Jobs and Family Services (JFS) got involved due to drug use and removed the children from their parent's custody, and Ryan's mother was temporarily listed as the kinship placement for them, to avoid foster placement.

Ryan was headlong into his Medical Laboratory Scientist program at Hondros College of Nursing, coming up on his final gauntlet of courses; if he could overcome Algebra. All the while planning jam-packed weekends of amazing fun for Abby and Vera as well as introducing them to their extended family; Emily's family (the Tomes, the Stilwells, the Estradas), and all of their extended cousins. They were in H-E-A-V-E-N!

In a few short months, fatigue and exhaustion for Ryan's mother lead to Ryan and Emily to step up and step in as the kinship care providers for Abby and Vera for possibly long term, but JFS was unable to tell us how long or where they were in the reunification process. JFS told us the goal was reunification but they also needed a back up plan. Instead of waiting for processes to begin, we diligently went down to JFS, did background checks, home checks, filled all of the paperwork, spoke with and interviewed with all of the caseworkers and managers on the case. We wanted to ensure a speedy and quick transfer of the children to a safe and loving environment, one which the girls at this point have had about 6-8 sleep-overs at this point.

March 2019 rolled around, and they were granted Kinship placement, and legal guardianship of Abby & Vera... and another surprise. Amongst all of the chaos of court, and JFS, Ryan's sister steps forward to say she is pregnant again.. and is due in May. Which upon doing the math for Emily and Ryan means, that the time of conception means that she was potentially using drugs when she was pregnant. Talk about a major stress for months.

Emily and Ryan were so elated to have Abby and Vera to give then a healthy, loving, and stable household. We were also so happy to fill our home with laughter and love from these precious little girls. We truly got as much as we gave. Abby began to flourish in new school and Vera was learning new words and talking like crazy! It was so beautiful to see such intelligent young girls unfurl from their cocoons like a butterflies.

In May of 2019 our sweet Paisley was born and we found out shortly after she was born that we would be bringing her home from the hospital. We were very excited and very nervous as we didn't have many necessary things to take a baby home and it was very fast. Thanks to so many friends, our family and local services we were able to get things together to feel ready to bring Paisley home. It was a whirlwind of 48 hours and then she was home and there were 3 beautiful girls in our home. Emily took a week off work to get to know Paisley and help Ryan adjust to caring for a newborn and a toddler. Abby was still finishing up her school year at Loveland and stayed with her grandma during the week and with us on weekends. Abby joined us full time after the school year ended. Ryan stepped up and quickly learned how to balance and Abby was a great big sister helper. Both older girls loved to dote on their baby sister.

The summer of 2019 we enrolled Abby in our local elementary and she made many friends in the neighborhood. That kid can make friends with anyone! That summer we had lots of fun and explored many new places. We felt like a family unit early on but it would be a while before we found out the fate of the situation. According to JFS, reunification was still the plan and we continued to juggle visitation for the parents and monthly check ins with the case worker.

We continued to bond as a family and then Covid hit. Abby learned to cope with school online and Emily worked thru the effects of Covid at her work. In the fall of 2020 we discussed with JFS our intention of taking custody of the girls if there was no change and the goals for the parents were not met. After several meetings and a trial, we were awarded full custody of the girls on Jan 29th, 2021.

Since then Vera is in her second year of Preschool, and loves it so much. Even Paisley was ready (despite being a few months too young to start) to go with her sister this year! She took it hard, and was very sad when she couldn't stay with Vera and go to school with her. And she's very ready but she also enjoys special time with Ryan. We are loving to see each of the girls in their different stages of life and watch Paisley form her own personality and vocabulary.

Abby is in 4th grade and has soared with her reading ability and love for reading. The kid loves fantasy books, books about dragons, graphic novels, and novels!

Abby's skills in math have also greatly improved, and slowly climbing to where she needs to be. We are so proud of her and her efforts that she puts in to continue to move forward, and not just give up when it gets hard.

Ever since the age of 4 or 5, Abby has told people that she "wants to become a Paleontologist!". So over the last year we have cautiously felt out her level of seriousness for it, and she seems extremely serious about the career path, and love for dinosaurs, fossils, and rocks.

Only in the last 6-8 months have we truly started to make bolder steps toward something for her to truly understand her trajectory of a career path and where it might lead her. Even by arranging an actual Paleontologist from the Cincinnati Museum Center, who actively works there to have a Zoom call with her to discuss her career field, necessary education path, and all of the wonderful and different paths for career opportunities; one even includes art, completely to Abby's excited surprise!

The goal of this site is to keep family and friends updated with pictures and stories of our adventures. We will update the site several times a year but we might be a little behind sometimes so keep checking back when you can!

How we came to be a Family: About